


Why do you do this to yourself?

by godlyCursive



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anorexia, Gen, Mentions of dissociation, Other, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, mentions of bullying, suicide note
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 03:43:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4085377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godlyCursive/pseuds/godlyCursive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I decided to just write a suicide note from Dave to Bro. I don't know if I'll continue this since I only had the intention of writing the note.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why do you do this to yourself?

Bro,  
Since this is probably going to be the last time you're going to hear from me, I'm going to tell you everything that has been on my mind these past few months. You most likely won't like what I'm going to tell you but that doesn't really matter anymore.

So, first of all, you've probably noticed that I've been losing weight recently, right? Well it's a lot worse than you think. It's not because I've been exercising or been sticking to a healthy diet, it's because I haven't been eating. I really don't know how it started but I'm pretty sure I just slowly started restricting myself from food a small bit at a time and it just got so bad I just never ate. It got so bad that now I don't even look human anymore. I seem to resemble a skeleton more than a human. 

Next is that I know you've been complaining about the amount of razors that have gone missing in the past few months, but just think about it for a second. Where do you think they've gone? Who do you think took them? I'll give you a hint, it was me and I am sorry for it, I really am but when the only thing that makes you feel real is pain then things like this can happen. Basically, I'm saying that I've been cutting if you couldn't have guessed that by now, but knowing you, you probably have. The reason for this is, is well, I don't feel real, I feel like everything that is happening to me is all just a dream and that none of it is real. I hardly feel like myself anymore and I'm constantly losing hours and hours of my life, especially during school. I think this is called dissociation but I don't know and I really couldn't care.

Now I know you won't be happy about this, but I've been getting bullied and that might be the reason for everything that I've done but to be honest, everything they've said is true. I'm useless, worthless, stupid, idiotic and I should just go die. I've deserved every punch, kick and everything else they've ever done to me. This probably answers your question of why I came home near enough everyday covered in bruises, well now you know.

There's only two more things I have left to say now, the first thing is that I love you and always have. I mean, in the way someone would love someone when they wanted to be in a relationship with them, a way you just wouldn't love your brother and I know this makes me a sick bastard for loving you like that but I can't stop it, believe me I've tried. 

The last thing is that if you want to find me, I'm on the roof, but please remember that I will be in a pretty bad state. There'll most likely be lots of blood so just keep that in mind. Please don't worry about me though, life just isn't for me.

I hope we meet again some time on the other side and if we don't, well then I'll just keep on hoping we do. I'll miss you since I love you so much.

~Love from Dave


End file.
